Nov 4th 2025

Nov 4th 2025

It is now November 4th. We woke up, had our coffee, and I ate a little bit. We headed off to the only hospital we trusted which was 90 miles away.

Got there, Spent 3 hours in the waiting room and went through 45 minutes to an hour of waiting for the Doctor.  He came in, I explained everything I mentioned above. He looked at me weird, either like he didn’t believe me about the pain I have been dealing with, or disbelief that I was upright if the pain was as bad as I said it was.  He finally did an exam on my belly.   Felt the lump, told me his best guess was a Hernia. Okay. Not even on my radar but okay. So he sent me in for a CT scan. An hour later he came back and said very gently and very softly. It’s not a hernia, it’s not an impact. What we see is an Ovarian Tumor. A very large, grapefruit sized Ovarian Tumor. He sent my info over via FAX to  the “In network” Gynecological Oncologist, to urgently set up an appointment ASAP and he said, when we get to the parking lot, call the office and set up the appointment. (they didn’t get it however, as we were walking out of the hospital I made the call and she said, NOPE, didn’t get it, can’t do anything til we do.) SOOO, my husband bless his heart, the best advocate anyone could ask for, turned around to walk back in the hospital and find that ER doctor to say “Hey, get that sent again so we can get this appointment” and low and behold, the Doc was in Plain clothes walking out the door ready to RUN, he was done for the day.

We stopped him, told him what was going on and GOD BLESS THAT MAN, he immediately went back inside, we watched as he got that Fax ready again and sent it again. Waited with us while we made the call and saw that we were getting an appointment.

I got the appointment for the 6th, it was a Thursday and I never want to forget that day but first, let's talk about the day and night before (November 5th) I had spent the day, explaining to my kids (They are adults 26-32) what was going on. My oldest son, very mature, I could see he was panicking, but he handled it very well and was very optimistic. My younger son, however, is my Hypochondriac, just like his mamma, he didn’t handle it so well. He immediately went straight to “Worse case scenario” and panicked himself into nearly hyperventilating, I understood why, he is a momma’s boy in all the good ways. It took me a good minute to calm him down and get him to understand that it does us no good to panic until we get results from Pathology, which wasn’t going to happen until we get a surgery to remove this tumor. Which, we were hopeful would be any day now. I mean, How hard would it be, One fairly large tumor.. 

Anyway, I have one more child, they are high functioning autistic, I called their father whom they live with, they (born female) are 23 years old. I was unsure as to how this would affect them. The last time I had a surgery they couldn't come see me at the hospital because it would cause a panic attach or just be too hard. I understood of course.  Their father and I came to the conclusion that we should hold off on telling them until we know for sure if it’s cancer or not, which at the time we were very convinced it was not.  

After my kids, I continued to make many phone calls to others that are very important in my life. First was to two of my best friends. My boss/neighbor that I worked for at the time (because I had to quite the job), an couple that we became quick friends with and became very close to.  It was hard. My Best friend in Colorado, Jenni, took it hard, she said she was about to call me when I sent her a text saying call me when you have a chance. Which obviously scared the living day lights out of her.  Well, she had intended on calling me anyway to let me know, November 16th she was coming to Missouri to visit, stopping by on her way to Kentucky to visit with her mom for Thanksgiving. I was overjoyed, but had to rain on her parade and let her know how that visit was going to go possibly.  The next call was to my other best friend, who lives in the same town and I do, who had just went through Colon cancer on top of a broken leg, I knew she would understand what was going on with me. She had been through the wringer, survived like a champ, and cheered me on.  I never got to be there for her, as I was going through a lot on my own, and quite honestly, I had no idea how to handle her diagnosis. I now know that, that was so very wrong of me. I hated not knowing what to do. It's not an excuse, but a reason, I wasn't there for anyone but me at that time, I had no idea what was going on with me but it was kicking my ass and keeping me sick all the time. Anyway, that’s beside the point. She knew exactly what I was talking about and knew exactly what to say to me to keep me calm. Although short lived (The calmness) it worked. I am blessed to have such amazing friends and support group in my life.  The remainder calls were standard, explaining the same story over and over again. Meanwhile, my husband was calling all of his family to let them know what we were getting ready to deal with. An emotional day all around.  Although, exhausted as I was, stress set in and I couldn’t shut my brain off, got absolutely no sleep.