March 5, 2026
I was watching a Cancer conference the other day, on youtube, I can't remember the remarkable woman's name is, but she said something that blew me away and made me really start to think and process "How I think".
She said.
I didn't Survive Cancer
Just to let Stress
Kill Me ! ! !
She went on to talk about not just WHO you let stay in your life, but "What" you allow to make you "React" to.
Think about that for a minute...
From this day forward I refuse to allow anything that isn't good for me, for my soul, for my wellbeing, for my mental health... Hinder my healing and hinder my life going on from here out.
I had always been a people please, very rarely (if every) would I stand up for myself, or try to preserve my own. I was raised that "My peace" was only achieved if everyone esle around me's "Peace" was held up.
I can no longer allow myself to feel responsible for anyone elses peace except my own.. I will however, take my Husbands peace to heart because he is my soul that God gave to me.
My next round of chemo is on the 10th, then I have round 5 on the 31st. I am hoping and praying that this next round (#4) goes as smoothly as round #3 did, or better would be optimal.
Side effects: Itching palms on hands and feet, super dry skin, Exhaustion like nothing I have ever felt in my life, Sense of smell is 10 times more sensitive and sense of taste takes turns: one day it's very dormant (food doesn't taste well at all) other days It's too sensitive and I can't handle seasoning (onion, garlic, paprika, pepper etc..) very well.
I am taking a lot of Vitamins (in the form of Homeopathic ingredients) and my nails are growing like crazy, but, they are getting these white faded areas on them. Not sure if it's something to worry about or not.
Still haven't heard anything back on the CT scans. I'm assuming good news. Because, if it was bad news they would have called by day 3 (business days) after the scans were done. It has to be inflammation or something like that. We will find out Tuesday. I'm going to see my "actual" oncologist this visit because of the scans, instead of the PA. They both, by the way, are flipping amazing women. I wish all Doctors were like these two women.
OH. PS: i had just enough energy yesterday to tak a 5lb bag of Apples we got from the Amish store, peel and chop up, cook down and blend with a tiny bit of monk fruit sugar.. Â I made, Applesauce.. I wanted plain applesauce, so I used some of my homemade vanilla in it.. OH MY GOSH. The best dang applesauce I have ever had. Going to take some to snack on during chemo treatment. Delish.
I will post the recipe for anyone interest as soon as I can.
We actually bought 3 - 5lb bags. So Today, I peeled up and prepped for another batch of applesauce today: This time, I'm adding cinnamon. YUM
Tomorrow I plan to clean up the last bag and make apple pie filling / not just for apple pie but to put on top of pancakes, waffles, toast, whatever. Right..  Â
I will post the recipe for that as well.. All of my recipes are ALPHA-GAL safe. (And going into my next cookbook.)