Nov 6th 2025

Nov 6th 2025

The day of the oncology visit. NOT at all what I was expecting. It just kept getting worse and worse.  Driving the 90 miles to this visit, hubby and I went over all the ‘What if’s” and thought we covered it quite well.  We made some decisions for “Just in case” and I was very confident that they would be putting me into the hospital that day, because the ER doc was very concerned that the very LARGE mass needed to come out ASAP.   

Anyway, we got there, went through the stressful wait in the waiting room, then in the room talking to the nurse, going over the symptoms etc..  It was a nursing hospital doctor so I agreed to let the Male student sit in on the visit. My spirits were high and as per usual (still thinking it had to be something simple), my husband and I were cracking jokes, keeping the mood light..  The Doctor (and the nurses) were great, they went along with all of it. However, when the Doctor pulled up the scans, asked me if I had seen them yet. I said no. (Didn’t have access yet to the online account). Anyway, she pulled up the scans and my jaw dropped. Here is a drawing of what I saw. (I tried to get a copy of the scans, still working on that)

This is what the scans looked like. I haven't gotten an actual copy of them yet.

THREE large and several much smaller ones. Not one but 3, very large 9-12 cm each Tumors along with one smaller one surrounded by several tiny cists, but not so tiny really, because I could point them out, they were large enough to see. The fact that the images were burned onto my brain still amazes me. 

These masses were enveloping my entire abdomen from belly button to hair line, from left hip to right hip. Their combined mass was so large in fact, that all of the “Normal organs” were being either shoved up into my rib cage or being squished by the tumor up against another area. Such as, my intestines were being shoved down into my rectal area and one part of the intestine appeared to be getting rammed into my lower back (where I have been experiencing increased pain as of the last few years) this was a tumor that was attached to my left ovary, also where the Doctors suspect the first tumor began and also suspect that THIS tumor may be connected to my intestine, making it harder to remove. My bladder was being pressed against my pelvic bone causing a lack of space for urine (explains why my urine frequency increased by double: and the "amount" was cut in half). My stomach is being compressed up against the other organs under my ribs (just above my belly button) causing heart burn, and inability to eat very much at one sitting and very painful, IE why I have already lost 10 lbs.

Well, I was in shock to say the least, not able to react. I went to my good old fail safe. Crack a joke. Told the Doc I decided to name the “Mass Tumors as Whole. One name”  These combined tumors were / are essentially the size of a baby ready to be born. However, I am proud that I do not look as “Pregnant” as these tumors should be making me look. Mind you all together these tumors, were larger and heavier than my heaviest child at 6 lbs 4.6 oz. I had three kids.

This is what my belly looked like before Surgery

My first, brainless thought, was: “ oh, so you're saying that my FUPA is caused by tumors not Menopause”..... And potentially after healing from surgery, my FUPA could go away.. Yay… Well, Okay, so morbid as that may sound, I was in denial, or at the very least, I was having delayed reactions. You see, I was trained my entire life to “put it away because no one really cares”.

That night though, those CT images kept flashing before my eyes. The drawings (Above) I made from memory, I couldn’t stop looking at them in pure amazement. NOT the good kind, quite frankly wondering how on earth I didn’t feel this before now.  Then I realized, I did feel these before now, I just wrote them off as typical Menopausal symptoms, pain must be from the Alpha gal, or the back pain was just irritated etc.… I realized that had I been able to have health insurance, I may (NOT POSSITIVE) but MAY have gone to the doctor sooner. Or would I have? We won’t know, but I can’t beat myself up over it. It is what it is.  Reality setting in that my future could very well be so very different from what I am used to. That it has already changed so drastically already, that I am now going to have to deal with some more exponentially drastic changes.  

Back to the DR visit. We set up the surgery for a very long 15 days later. November 19th. The day after my husband and I’s 2nd wedding anniversary. For which we have to celebrate a day or two early if we plan to go out in eat.